Americans tip...

August 22nd

I guess the best way to start it is to say that it didn’t start too well. When we got into New York, (via the ominously named ‘Port Authority’) I took a taxi alongside some of the guys to an apartment which it turns out I was never gonna stay at. I tell you, there isn’t much of a better feeling than sitting in the lobby of a fancy apartment building, in a sweaty superman t-shirt, with 3 grumpy doormen, watching a bunch of rich people walking past on their way to their rooms, while you’re fully aware you have five friends upstairs getting showered, cleaned, and pampered by hot naked slave women.

…Ok that last bit probably didn’t happen up there, but I think you get what I’m trying to say.

Obviously I hold no grudges against those guys…just the doormen who obviously hated me and my uninvited ways.

The world was made good again though as over a dinner at Applebee’s I was given permission to stay at Jamie’s (counsellor from camp) Aunt and Uncle’s apartment.

Applebee’s, yeah that’s probably worth a mention. The original plan was to go to the famed ‘Chuck and Busters’, a restaurant/awesome arcade, but we weren’t allowed in due to the fact that all customers under 21 must be accompanied by a 25 year old. I would have had no problem with this if it weren’t for the fact I had gone and out so many times with a group of over 21’s/under 25’s with no hassle from the bouncers. It was only when the Scotsman of our group turned up that we were refused entry. I guess massive bouncers and the Scots will never truly tolerate each other’s presence in this world.
Anyway, we decided to go to Applebee’s for food, as it was cheaper any way. Though Stuart, the local anal retentive of our group was horrified to find out that the ‘2 for $20” had been busted up to ‘2 for $27’.
Overall it was definitely a good meal, despite the groups constant swearing that obviously been held in through 2 months of looking after campers (though the 2 year old the next table over didn’t seem to phase them), and our general loud noises. The best part of the meal had to be when we spent a half hour trying to figure out who owed money, everyone having to give in an extra dollar or five just so we could pay the bill (including gratuity charge). This half-hour of torturous math and having to remind everyone I had paid more than my share was made even sweeter when Stuart came to the table after handing the bill in and saying “we have to leave now.”

Turns out Stuart, and make of this what you will, had decided on his way to paying that he’d take out $20 from the gratuity, and then (and here’s the kicker) tell the waiter that his service was not up to standard. This would explain that on the way out when I said “thanks” he looked like he was about to shank me.
Honestly I don’t mind him not tipping so much as the waiter was slightly cold to us, it was the wasted precious minutes of my life that went into giving him that dollar that annoyed.